I just felt like If I didn’t post this, I would never say it out loud…
Today I woke up and felt like crap. Hell, I went to bed feeling like crap. Actually, I cried myself to sleep. I have no idea why really…well at least not a definite answer why. Some call it depression. Some call it bipolar. Some call it acting out. Some call it a phase. I call it dealing. I don’t know why but I just cried. No reason whatsoever. So that was it. I went to bed. I went to bed and I cried. Not for the sake of crying over pain, but I cried because I didn’t feel loved. I didn’t feel like anyone cared. I didn’t feel myself. I went to bed and I pretty much convinced myself that if I died tonight that no one would care.
When I woke up at a time that was far too early for my liking. I put my headphones in and put my ipod on shuffle. And you know what song came on…
“I’ll Be Your Strength”
I sat there and I really listened to the lyrics.. I sat there and I really concentration on what the boys had previously said about the meaning of the song.
“We know some of our fans go through hard times but remember everything gets better and we’re here for you” Jay McGuiness
“Me and Jay wrote this song for you guys. We know some of our fans go through a lot and feel really alone and lost. Sometimes leading you to do things to hurt yourselves emotionally and physically. It’s hard for us because we know we can’t help you personally, but this is to let you know we will always be here, you are worth it and it’ll get better I promise. Stay with us, thank you” Nathan Sykes
“We know some of you have down days, but when you feel sad we want you to remember this night, and this next song that we wrote just for you.” Jay in Dublin.
“It’s one that me and little Nath wrote for our second album, and we really really hope you’re all having an amazing time, and we know that things can get tough for some of you guys, when we read your fanmail, and we don’t always know what to say, but we think sometimes just being there helps, and this song is about that, and we hope that just coming here helps you forget about that stuff, it’s called I’ll Be Your Strength.” - Jay in London.
Not only did I sit there and feel immediately better; I sat there in tears, thanking the boys for this song. Thanking them that this song was here. Thanking them for being there, however not personally but just for being there.
No matter who read this. No matter how many or how few read this, I really don’t care. I felt like it was my obligation to tell how ever many people read this about my story. I may have not have been here from the beginning, but I will be here till the end. Because not only do these boys make me incredibly happy, they make me laugh, smile and most importantly; they have saved me. They are my strength.
It just goes to show the impact something that people see as something so little has on a person.
~ Alanna xx